Dream A Little Dream Of Me

It is with the greatest of sadness that I post what I am about to post. Mortimer has left us, far too soon, and I can barely comprehend it, as it all happened so very fast. I'm famous for not handling my losses with my pets very well, and I always write them a letter, always.. and here is my letter to my wonderful Mortimer.

Dearest Morty,

I'm full of sadness..I keep looking for you, calling Boris your name, and wondering how is it I'm able to sit so close to my desk all of a sudden. My mind knows you are gone, but yet it refuses to believe it, as does my body, because I am sitting here away from my desk, as I did when you would lay under it. How did this happen so fast? My mind is not processing this.. I cannot get it out of my head that I must have missed some signs, how did I do that when I was with you so much? I am in utter disbelief that this is actually happening, or has happened. I still look for you, still reach to pet you where you normally would set by me. I keep expecting to feel you come lay your big jowls on my arm for a petting, or for you to slap me a good one when you felt you were not getting enough attention...and I'd give anything to feel that right now.

You came to us by a wonderful chance. I remember the drive to get you, I remember seeing you and thinking how skinny you were, and yes.. homely looking. I could see your ribs, and yet you set your eyes upon me and decided I was yours. You even tried to crawl over our seat on the ride home to be with me, digging your claws in my neck, until I was forced to lay the seat back so you could rest your head by mine. How did you know I would need you so much? Did you sense that I'd love you as much as I do? I wonder these things now.

I remember this scared puppy, dragging me over the trashcans when a loud noise came, and how you trembled when it was time to go out again. How skittish, how shy, how hungry you were. How unsure where you belonged, and yet clinging to me with hope in your eyes and love in your heart.

As the weeks passed, I saw you flourish, and how did I ever think you, this awesomely beautiful animal, were ever homely? I saw you go from a dog that growled over your food to a guy sitting patiently for treats while I gave some to your brother. From not rolling over at all to let anyone pet your belly, to laying next to me on your back so I could rub it. I saw you go from serious at all times, to doing some of the goofiest things I've ever seen. Indeed, you changed.. you opened up like a flower that has finally gotten their rays of sunshine.

I had you just shy of a year, but in that year I gave you lifetimes of love, and you gave it back to me twofold. I have been loved, even owned by dogs before..but none so all consuming such as yours. The way you'd look at me, with your golden eyes, with the adoration, knowing I'd never hurt you, and that I loved you, the trust I saw in them, and the hope..I just cannot believe that I will never get to see those looking at me again. My heart has broken into a million, shattered pieces.

I hope you sleep sweetly, I hope you are running and being carefree, with a wild abandoned, where loud noises don't bother you anymore, and you have no reason to be afraid of anything ever again. I hope that you know that I adore you still, and always will, that I'll never forget you, ever. I hope when you dream, you dream a little dream of me, because you will be in mine..always, forever.. you own a piece of my heart sweet MoMo.

Always, and forever, loving you,

Mom

Mortimer McGuire
11/13/2009 - 7/10/2011